Category: Humor
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Compliments from a Cool Mom
I try hard to give my kids unique and interesting compliments.Me: Jeremy, you are one cool dude.My son: [indecipherable grunt]Me: When God was handing out the cool kids in heaven, I totally cut to the front of the line.Jeremy:Me: And God was all like, “I dunno, lady, this kid is REALLY COOL. Like, I don’t…
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Livin’ the Dream
Well it’s a beautiful night/ We’re looking for something fun to do/ Hey baby/ I think I wanna sit on the front porch and eat mac-and-cheese directly out of the pot in front of God and everybody
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Biff, the Bur Oak Highlander Who Cannot Be Killed
So I ordered a bur oak from the Arbor Day Foundation around—well—Arbor Day, and then, because I am a depressed unmotivated sack of crap who only goes to work and comes home and naps intermittently until it’s time to go to bed, I left it sitting in a box on my back porch all summer…