Nice to Meet You

Written 20 years ago, on the day my eldest child was born.

8/17/98
Riley, my sweet baby daughter—

It is 2:30 in the morning on the day you will be born. At about noon on this day, Monday, we are going to go into the hospital and have a cesarean section that will finally bring you and me face to face. Isn’t that amazing? Due to the wonder of technology, your father and I will know, down to the hour, when we’ll finally be able to see you. It will be today.

These past nine months have been so long, but have gone by so fast. We both have had so much growing to do! You, especially, have made so many amazing strides. You have gone from a tiny group of rapidly-dividing cells to a wondrous thing—a human baby. A child of ours. A beautiful miracle, straight from the heart of God.
I’ve done some growing too: from a girl afraid of everything to a woman, still afraid but breaking through her fears for the sake of her child. I am turning into a mother.

Not that I am perfect, as you’ll find out soon. I am still filled with a lot of anxiety, which may cause me to make mistakes. I guarantee that I won’t be as good a mother as you are a baby. But I will try—the hardest I’ve ever worked at anything. I will try to be the greatest mother in the world to you, Riley. If the amount of pure love I have in my heart for you is any indication, I will be the best mom who’s ever loved a baby.

I still can’t believe this is happening. Remember when I wrote my first entry in this journal? I couldn’t believe something so wonderful was happening to me. And even though the reality of you has slowly grown inside me, like my expanding belly, I still can’t fully grasp the enormity of it all.

I can realize that in a few hours I won’t be pregnant anymore, but I still can’t believe that you—tiny, miraculous, strong, stubborn, growing you—will be with me finally, after all this time. You, who I’ve been writing to and dreaming about for months, and planning for years before that. My very own baby, this amazing gift, is finally almost here. I am so frightened, and ecstatic, and anxious, and delighted, and filled with so much love I can’t describe it. 

You are mine, and your father’s, and God’s, wondrous creation. You are everything I hoped for and the answer to all my questions. You are my dreams, finally made real. You are the brightest star on my horizon. You are my daughter.

I can’t wait to meet you.

I love you, Riley.


Posted

in

,

by

Tags: